


hi my name is MC i have a dance battle tomorrow

by Blessed_thot



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Bonding, Family Shenanigans, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gen, MC's just vibin' lol, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, i don't think there will be any main ships, i drew a Man for this fic, i haven't decided on main ships, maybe romantic... ;)), this bad boy can fit so many tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24164374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blessed_thot/pseuds/Blessed_thot
Summary: “Wha-” came a weak mumble from your mouth, as you slowly opened your eyes to look at the ceiling. Hmm, maybe you were a bit forgetful at times, but you were pretty sure you didn’t have any chandeliers. Or elaborate designs. Too fancy, you know? (not like you were broke or anything, haha, of course not)“Ah, you’re awake! Welcome to Devildom!”or: i have another fic pending but i have commitment issues and a short attention span so i wrote this (now with art!)
Relationships: Asmodeus & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Asmodeus/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Leviathan & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Leviathan/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character & Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character & Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Everyone, Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Everyone, Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 114
Kudos: 219





	1. what's up demons? it's me, ya boi

**Author's Note:**

> if you got the reference in the title i'll love you forever ^3^
> 
> this has been beta'ed, but if there's any mistake, let me know in the comments!

Ah. A day off. Finally. Your demon (hah) of a boss, had _finally_ caught the flu (she seemed to be immune to _everything_ ), and today’s meeting had been postponed to next week. You hadn’t had time off to yourself in _weeks_ , working and working, until the point where even when you had free time, all you thought about was presentations and charts. It became so bad, that one day you almost made a pie chart for the different kinds of pie. Why? Maybe you were going insane.

So, for the sake of your already terrible mental health, you decided to step out of the house now that your boss was dying. Well not _dying_ , but you get the idea. (@ narrator y r u so vague)

Stepping outside, you basked in the sunlight. _Psh_ , no you didn’t, who even says shit like that? You didn’t have time to “bask” in the sunlight anyway, considering your favorite bakery would be closing in about an hour. With your destination in mind, you set off.

Why the bakery, you may ask. Why not the park, or the mall? Well, apart from the vibes they gave off (indeed, they passed the vibe check), the bakery you were visiting also had _really_ good food. After surviving on Karen’s stupid diet for two days, you said fuck it (to the diet of course, not to her), and quit. She was upset. Did you care? No. Who was Karen, you ask? Karen was your landlady, who loved poking her Minecraft villager sized nose into everyone’s business.

Now, you weren’t one to judge appearances, because I mean, you’d seen yourself in a mirror, (@ narrator, y u gotta be so rude), but in your defense, she’d called you a “sad lump of grey” when she met you in your grey sweatpants and hoodie for the first time.

Over-sharing unimportant details aside, you were going to the bakery. Entering, you let the aroma of baked goods fill your nose. Taking your cheese-loaded garlic bread to-go, you happily walked down the street. To others, it may have looked as though you just got engaged, or something equally important, or extreme-happiness-inducing as that, but only few know of the satisfaction one gets after eating nothing but leaves for 48 hours, and then getting the opportunity to sink their teeth into garlicky-cheesy-goodness.

Lost in your fantasies, you would have tripped over the slight bump in the sidewalk if it weren’t for someone calling for…help?

You paused in your steps, looking to your side. A dark, seemingly empty alley stared back at you, but you were sure that was the source of the sound. The cry came again, this time louder, and laced with more desperation.

 _OwO?_ Your mind helpfully supplied. No, you weren’t a furry. You’d used it as a joke once, and it _unfortunately_ , stuck. Now, a rational person would have alerted anyone from the 500 people on the street, or called the police, but _you’re_ the protagonist of a reader-insert, so you know what’s gonna happen next. (@ narrator y r u breaking the 4th wall)

“Hello?” you stepped into the dark alley, holding the cover with your bread tight. (they could steal from you or even murder you, but it would be a cold day in hell (hah) before they took your garlic bread)

You swallowed hard, repeating your question once again to the void in front of you. Nothing. (maybe _hewwo??????_ works better? Ugh why can't I be serious I could die. Hah, sewious lol.)

_I swear to god, if some pre-pubescent boys jump out from the shadows saying something like it’s just a prank bro, a child will die today._

You were just about to turn around and super-sonic-speed it back to your house, when a bright light engulfs you. You remember your last thought being, _this sure is a dramatic way to die, but I’m not complaining_ , before darkness took over.

* * *

There was a persistent ringing in your ears. Your back hurt.

Just a dream, huh?

You stretched out on your bed, and prepared to _WAIT_. Your bed wasn’t this soft.

“Wha-” came a weak mumble from your mouth, as you slowly opened your eyes to look at the ceiling. Hmm, maybe you were a bit forgetful at times, but you were _pretty_ sure you didn’t have any chandeliers. Or elaborate designs. Too fancy, you know? (not like you were broke or anything, haha, of course not)

“Ah, you’re awake! Welcome to Devildom!”

Your eyes wide, and brows raised to the heavens (hah), you stare at the man in front of you from your current spot on the floor. You could hear inner you let out an oHoHoHO, over the eye candy currently beaming at you, before your rational side took over, and you uttered your first words in Demonville or whatever.

“What the fuck?”

There were more people (?) behind him, all sitting on thrones (?), looking at you like you were some new species. They were all eye candy as well. When you were a teenager, you _did_ pray to whoever was up there to give you the honors of being stared at by good-looking guys, but you sure didn’t expect it to happen like this.

“My name is Diavolo, and I’m the ruler of Devildom.”

You sat there in dumbfounded silence as your three brain cells tried their hardest to process the information given to you.

“You must be wondering why you’re here, right?”

Processing.

“You will be a part of the exchange program between humans, demons, and angels! We have sent two of our own to the human world as well!”

Processing.

“You’ll be staying here for a year, completing tasks, and at the end of the year, you will be free to leave once you write a report on your stay here, as well as the new values you will have learned from us. Lucifer and his brothers here, will help you understand better, and protect you during your stay here.”

Processing error. Too much information.

You stare at him for some time, wondering how someone can keep smiling for such a long time.

“I’m dreaming, right?”

The one named Lucifer lets out a sigh, his brows furrowing and posture relaxing a bit as he leans back into his throne (?). In the distant, horny corners of your mind, that one vine of Tamar Braxton singing daddy starts playing. You’re kinda thankful the irrational side of your brain hasn’t taken over, or else you’d be bawling your eyes out right now. You really didn’t want these beautiful men to see that. Hey, gotta have a good first impression, right?

“No you aren’t!” Diavolo says with the same smile. You think you might just go blind because _how the fuck are his teeth so white-_

“So I’m dead then.” You say, because that’s the most plausible explanation, right? I mean, this must be your afterlife, where you can finally fulfill your dreams of being in a reverse harem anime. God is real and he’s nice, you conclude. You must’ve gone to the alley, gotten mugged and then-

_HOLY SHIT MY GARLIC BREAD._

“Are you looking for something?” eye candy asks as he watches you look around in panic.

You let out a sigh of relief as you see the unharmed garlic bread. You weren’t joking when you said you’d rather die than give it up.

“What’s that?” Diavolo questions, staring with child-like curiosity at the paper bag in your hands.

Your gaze moves from his crossed arms (hhh _biceps)_ , to your precious bread.

“Uhh, garlic...bread?” you stare at him, unsure if you offended him by overanalyzing the tone with which you spoke to the heir.

(In another, more prominent part of your mind, the _I-deadass-don’t-know-how-to-respond_ meme pops up. Really, your mind was great at coming up with appropriate reactions to intense situations like this.)

“Is that a human delicacy?”

You pause before you respond. Were you actually slipping into casual conversation with a demon king?

“Yes.”

Well, I guess you were then.


	2. deadass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here, i've introduced an OC, but he's just there to make the story go smoother, so don't worry, all the attention will be on you lol  
> once again, this has been beta-ed, but feel free to point out any mistakes in the comments!
> 
> enjoy! ^^

Previously, on hi my name is MC i have a dance battle tomorrow:

Our dear MC has somehow gotten themselves into hell. Not really a surprise, considering the amount of smut they’ve read. (your incognito mode may hide your sins from your parents but NOT FROM JESUS PEASANTS)

We continue.

“Garlic bread? Sounds interesting. Barbatos,” you watch as eye candy calls over another piece of eye candy (hhh his _hair)_.

“Do find the recipe for this, _garlic bread_.” He says, smiling at Mr. Barb.

“Of course my Lord,” he says bowing gracefully and stealing a glance at you, before exiting the room.

You’re still on the floor, with your mouth wide open. If you were at home, your mother would have asked you to shut it before a fly flew in (you never believed that), but holy hell (hah), the way he looked at you, his _eyes_ \- (horny 100)

You’re focused on chanting _dontfallinlovewithdemonsdontfallinlovewithdemonsdontfallinlovewithdemonsdontfallinlo_ \- when a voice breaks through your impure thoughts. (horny 100 x2)

“You still look distressed,” Says one of the eight men sitting on the thrones (?). He has blonde hair, and green eyes. “Why is that?”

Well you were just _guessing_ , but _maybe_ it was because two seconds ago you were almost at _home_ and now you’re in _hell_ with very attractive (people? demons?) beings. And maybe also that attractive people made you nervous. (@ narrator stop exposing MC)

But _obviously_ , that was just a guess and there was no way you were going to sass a demon. You didn’t know about their temper, but you sure didn’t wanna die here. (but I _mean_ , what a way to go amirite)

“Uh, well,” public speaking was never your cup of tea. Especially speaking to hot people? Guaranteed, _disaster_.

“Now, now Satan, I’m sure not all humans adapt to the exchange program as fast as Miel. We must give MC time to adjust.” Diavolo says, still looking at your garlic bread. Your grip on the baked good tightens, because you _would_ fight him if he tried to take it. (no you wouldn’t lol)

But wait a minute.

“Miel?”, you ask, brows slightly furrowed and head tilted.

Mr. D finally turns his gaze away from the bread (thank god), to look at your face. What an intense gaze _holy_ \- (horny 100 x3)

“Ah yes! I must have forgotten to mention. My apologies. Miel is another one of our exchange students. He was the first human to come here! Hmm, but I don’t think we can call him…fully, _human_ anymore.”

What? What happened to him? Did he come here and they were all friendly and nice and he got distracted by their hotness and they used him for an experiment and-

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late, I had this super hard task to complete.”

A guy strides in with a smile on his face, but his eyes show a different emotion. Anger, specifically.

“Lucifer, I asked you to exempt Miel from the tasks for today,” Diavolo says, looking at Daddy Vibes man disapprovingly.

“I did. I believe he was completing the tasks that were pending,” he says glaring right back at him.

Wait a minute. This is Miel? But-

A shriek.

“Oh my _god_ ,”

Another shriek.

“Is this the new exchange student? Hi! I’m Miel, it’s so nice to meet another human! It’s been like 40 years, and honestly, I’m getting _quite_ bored of looking at these demons.” he says, turning toward you.

For the first time since you’ve arrived here, your mind shuts down. You just stare blankly at him. 40 years? He doesn’t look a day over 20 what the hell? Well, some people do have really good genes, (shut up narrator) or maybe he’s just joking? (it’s not funny you feel even more insecure about your looks now rip), and _who_ in their right minds gets tired of looking at these faces? You'd frame their pictures if you could. He continues to smile.

“What the _fuck?”_ you say, your tone laced with as much confusion as your 3 brain cells can deliver.

He laughs.

You have now progressed from being confused, to horny, to blank, to angry. All in a matter of less than 10 minutes. You haven’t cried yet, which is a very good sign. You wished you could pull out an uno reverse card and send these bitches to Earth to see how they’d like that. Preferably _right_ as they’re about to eat something delicious.

“Don’t worry! No, you aren’t dreaming, no, you aren’t dead, and no, you aren’t in hell. This is the Devildom and yes, there _is_ a difference apparently.”

“Now, how about I be your guide?”

You’re very tempted to say _cut the cameras,,deadass_ , but you don’t really know if anyone would understand or appreciate it, since they’re starting to look pretty annoyed at your unresponsiveness and dumb questions. (@ narrator y r u so rude)

Calm down MC.

You can do this.

The DVD screensaver in your head finally hits a corner, and you are able to articulate a sentence.

You take a deep breath and turn to eye candy. He’s no longer smiling, but continues to look hot _oh my god_ \- (horny 100 x4)

“So you’re saying, that I have been taken, _against my will_ , from the human world, to take part in an exchange program, organized by you, which involves me staying here for a year, and then summarizing the latter in a report, and that during this stay I will be protected by those hot gu- I mean, those brothers?”

 _Wow_. That came out pretty well.

“Absolutely! I’m glad you’ve finally understood.” Diavolo says happily.

Maybe you should speak more often, because _damn_ , that sentence that came out of your mouth was-

“Deadass?”

Or maybe not.


	3. how to have a normal reaction to being kidnapped from the human world and put in demonville pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i didn't really like how easily MC adjusted to the devildom in-game, bc i'd prolly have 50 mental breakdowns, soo, this chapter shows the beginning of a panic attack. the attack will be continued in the upcoming chapter. nothing too intense, just a normal reaction to being kidnapped from the human world and being put in the devildom ^^
> 
> as always, this has been betaed, but please don't hesitate to point out any grammatical/spelling mistakes in the comments! thank you for reading! <3

Previously:

Whomst the fuck is Miel and why is he not fully human anymore what the FUCK-

We continue.

Miel lets out a snort at your question. He then turns to you, face serious.

“Deadass. Now come on! I’ll show you around, get you used to the _vibes_ here!”

He pulls your hand, and since you have no physical strength whatsoever, you are forced to helplessly follow him. (should’ve worked harder in gym class) (@ narrator why must you hurt MC like this)

You can hear one of the brothers muttering and Diavolo laughing. Hopefully at what they said and not at you.

You step out of the massive room, stepping into a hallway. It’s open on the sides, and the garden is in full view. You recognize like three flowers, because you aren’t a botanist damn it.

The hallway is empty, except for little dark blobs floating around. They have hats. They definitely look more fashionable than you, dressed in your jeans and hoodie, being dragged across by a rambling Miel.

“-And this is the cafeteria! As I said before, just don’t touch the green stuff at the end there and you’ll be A-OK!”

What did he say before though? _Shit_ , you should’ve payed attention. Oh well, just don’t touch the green thing and you’ll stay alive.

Even though you were still really fucking confused and scared, you had to admire the architecture, because _damn._ You _felt_ rich walking through these halls. (only felt though. You were actually broke. You could blame that on the devs for your favorite game. They released a new event and you had to get the UR cards so you spent a quarter of your paycheck because the events are too damn unfair and hard to win without paying oops) (@ narrator stop self-projecting)

“Is this a school?”

“Yep!”

“Would you like to know what it’s called?” he said, with a solemn face.

“Um. Sure.”

Struggling to keep his laughter contained, his face twists into a weird expression.

“It’s called...”

What’s with all this suspense? You hated suspense.

“RAD.”

A few moments of silence pass, with you staring at his face with a blank expression, your mouth agape.

“ _WHAT_ -” is all you manage to choke out before dissolving into laughter. The ugly, loud kind. RIP to that good first impression.

He laughs along with you, and even though you’d laughed, you were kinda scared you’d offended him somehow. He _did_ study here after all. His laughter eases your worries.

After coughing and wheezing a few times, the both of you finally calm down.

You are the first one to speak.

“Well that’s…rad.”

Giggling a bit at your pun (puns are berry punny don’t @ me), he starts walking.

“Let’s get you to the House of Lamentation. You must be tired. A day of rest will do you good.”

…The house of _what_ now?

* * *

The house of lament or whatever was huge (probably not as huge as Diavolo’s di-), and very easy to get lost in. _Thankfully_ , Miel’s room was on your floor, so you could rely on his help until you got used to this place. At least you weren’t going to get lost and then starve to death in some random room in the house. (yes, the lack of food was extremely worrying to you)

Upon expressing your concerns to Miel, he’d laughed. “You have plenty time to get used to the Devildom!”

That’s right. Your overwhelmed-by-too-many-hot-people brain had almost forgotten about the fact that you were going to be staying here for a whole year. One whole _year_. That during this year you had to study. That during this year you were going to be surrounded by demons and whatever Miel was. That during this year you could get hurt. Could get _killed_. Brutally.

 _Ahahaha not the time for a panic attack dear brain_ , you think as you stand at your door, bidding goodbye to Miel and thanking him for helping you around the school.

You try to control your breathing, discreetly, but you were never good at being stealthy anyway.

“Hey, are you okay?” Miel asks with concern swimming in his eyes.

_Yes, of course! Just thinking about and vividly imagining my gruesome death by the hands of a ferocious demon! Don’t worry, this is the finest I’ve ever felt in my super fine life haha_

You were not fine.

“Ah, just…need to get used to this, you know?” you say with a smile, hoping it looks legit. (it probably looks ugly or like a grimace but it’s like, whatever) (it is not you are crying)

“Oh yeah, I understand. I’ll leave you to it then.”

He leaves with one last smile thrown your way. You close the door. You stare at the door for a minute. The bread is still in your arms, the tiny amount of warmth emanating from it making it almost feel like someone was hugging you. You need a hug.

The first tear trickles down. And then another.

You are now fully sobbing. You fall to your knees, your body shaking with the effort of attempting to remain silent, as the sobs poured out.

_Great._


	4. how to have a normal reaction to being kidnapped from the human world and put in demonville pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey! sorry for not updating, my mental health wasn't that great, but good news! this chapter is 1k words. that's a lot. (no it's not)
> 
> anyways, as usual, this has been beta'ed, but if there's any mistake, let me know in the comments!
> 
> enjoy! <3

Previously, on hi my name is MC i have a dance battle tomorrow:

It’s time for sad.

We continue.

You fall to your knees, the sobs making your body shake violently. It wasn’t just the stress of being dumped in a strange world you knew nothing about, with creatures that could kill you within seconds. No, _this_ breakdown, you’d been _expecting_ it. With work back at home not going well, and the huge amount of stress you had to deal with every day, this breakdown was a long time coming.

Your chest felt tight. Tears pouring out of your eyes, you clutched at your chest in a futile effort to loosen the rope that had been wound _oh-so-tightly_ around your lungs. Lips bitten hard enough to draw blood so no sound escaped, your body fell to the floor, your knees no longer able to support you. The heaviness was too much. You were now laying on the floor, looking at the beautiful ceiling of your room through tear-blurred eyes.

Your nails dug into your palm painfully in an attempt to stop the waves of sadness that continued to trigger your tears.

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck_.”

All your mistakes, your insecurities, your fears, came rushing back to you as you felt a feeling of helplessness wash over you. What if you died here? What if you could never meet your family again? What would your parents feel? You could imagine them mourning your disappearance.

The rope tightened around your lungs.

What if you disappointed someone here? Made one of the brothers angry? They looked okay, but what if it was all just a charade and they were going to torture you and-

_Boop._

A sudden, soft touch on your nose made your eyes fly open. You got up on reflex to shield yourself from any potential danger.

It was one of the little black blobs you’d seen floating around before. Miel had called it a name.

_“Oh those? They’re called little D’s! Cute, aren’t they?”_

Ah. That's right. A little D. A companion to help with your tasks.

Once it was sure it had your attention, the little D began moving from side to side. Slowly.

Confused, you continued to stare as it kept moving. Finally, you understood what it was doing, as your mouth slightly parted in wonder.

It was calming you down. And it succeeded too.

The slow, pendulum-like movements had helped ease your erratic breaths.

You felt grateful tears spring to your eyes. Damn, were you gonna keep crying forever?

“Thank you.” You said softly, voice raspy from all the crying. The little D flew around you once, as though it was making sure you really were alright. Once satisfied, it did a little jump in front of you, touched your nose again, and then flew out the window, its dark form barely visible in the black night.

You sat silently on the floor for a couple of minutes, focusing on your breathing and just… _existing_. It felt nice to have your mind empty of thoughts. While breakdowns were probably the worst thing ever, the empty feeling you had afterwards, the blank mind, it was something you appreciated.

Wiping the tears remaining on your face, you slowly got up, walking towards what you assumed was the bathroom. Splashing water on your face, you stared at yourself in the mirror. Not good. Your hair was ruffled, face pale, eyes red-rimmed and swollen, and lips chapped. Right. You needed to drink water. You’d probably die if you didn’t drink water after all that crying.

_Hydrate or die-drate, am I right?_

You _should_ be fine if you can make jokes.

You opened the door to your room slowly, and peeked your head out, checking for any signs of demons in the hallways. None. While you hadn’t retained any information from Miel’s little house tour, (the house was too big shut up) you _did_ however, remember where the kitchen was. Considering your obsession with food, it wasn’t too big of a surprise. (@ narrator y u gotta be so rude)

You slowly walk to the direction of the kitchen. The carpet is soft under your bare feet. It feels nice. The cool wind gently hits your face. The vibes are good.

You finally reach the kitchen, and drink some water. You had to search for some time to find it, but you’d finally located the clear liquid of life after checking only 28745 places. (lamb sauce l o c a t e d)

Your mind felt almost as clear as the water you drank. There were no more tendrils of panic unfurling in your stomach. No ropes around your lungs. You could finally think about your situation in peace. Sitting down on one of the chairs, you rested your head in your hands, and breathed. In and out. As nice as the vibes in the kitchen were, you were starting to feel sleepy. And as tempting sleeping on the counter was, you _really_ didn't wanna wake up with a sore neck on your second day in the Devildom. Who knows what tasks they were gonna give you.

“Alright, I better get back to my room before some hot guy walks in on my ugly ass-”

“Human? What’re ya doin’ here?”

“HOLY _FUCK-_ ”

The demon that walked in jumps back a bit at your sudden exclamation.

You almost astral project yourself into the 8th realm in your surprise.

“JESUS FUCKING _CHRIST_.”

“Why’re ya screamin’ so much? Jeez. It’s not like I tried to kill ya or somethin’.”

“You almost did with your sudden entrance,” you say, still feeling a bit out of breath.

Finally, you look at the person who almost caused your untimely demise.

_Damn._

White-haired and clad in nothing but a well-fitting but comfortable looking black shirt and shorts, he looks exactly like what your horny ass does _not_ need right now. Honestly, you sometimes surprised _yourself_ with your horniness. (horny 100)

“O-oi! W-why’re ya lookin’ at me like that huh? Somethin’ on my face?”

Oh shit. You were staring.

“Ahahaha no, I’m just, uhhh,” Immediately, all the english you ever learned, flew _right_ out of your brain.

"Uhh, basically I um," He stared at you, confused.

"Mufuckin uhhh" _NOT THE TIME TO QUOTE A VINE._

Your three brain cells swore that they tried their hardest to formulate the perfect response. Sassy, funny, and a bit flirty. But what came out instead was,

“Hahaha I’m just gonna go to my room, bye!” (bruh moment)

You cursed at yourself as your horniness kicked in when you passed by him. (more like ran past him lmao pussy) (@ narrator y u gotta be so rude x2)

 _Ahh he smells nice…NO. STOP IT_. (horny 100 x2)

You continued to curse at yourself as you power walked back to your room like some middle-aged woman who looked like she was going through a mid-life crisis. (bruh moment x2)

God.

If all your interactions with the brothers were going to go like this,

How were you going to fucking _survive?_


	5. breakfast with demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i know i've been gone for a bit long, but to make up for lost time, have a longer chapter! almost 2k words, haha. i know i haven't responded to the comments on the previous chapter, but i'll get to them soon! i really do appreciate every single comment i get.
> 
> as always, this has been proof-read, but if you find any grammatical/spelling mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out in the comments!
> 
> enjoy! <3

Previously, on hi my name is MC i have a dance battle tomorrow:

MC was sad. MC was horny. What emotion will she feel next? Keep watching My Normal Life That Was Turned Upside-Down after I Got Kidnapped by a Bunch of Hot Demons, to find out! (this ad was sponsored by Mammon’s car.)

We continue.

After running back to your room last night, you’d expected to get maybe an hour of sleep. After all, this _was_ an unfamiliar location, and you were never good with change. Then imagine, when to your surprise, you awoke feeling fully rested, and not like you wanted to die. You hadn’t slept this well at your _own_ house. (maybe all you needed was a breakdown. And the knowledge that you were living with hot guys now.)

You proceeded to get out of bed and stretch, feeling your back crack. There were nap lines on your face. You know, those lines on your face and arms after a really good nap? For the first time since high school, you felt…energized. Stepping out of the bathroom, you hear muffled voices outside your door.

“Oh my god, can you shut up?”

“I can’t believe you forgot to give her the DDD Miel.”

“Well, if only _someone_ hadn’t forgotten to give it to her when she arrived and instead was busy with Diavolo-”

“ _Lord_ Diavolo-” a deeper voice interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, then I wouldn’t have been given the responsibility to give it to MC!”

“Alright, alright now shut up. Are you planning to knock and give it to MC or keep talking in front of her door like a creep?”

“Hey! If anything, you’re the creep here.”

“ _HEY!”_

Your eyebrows furrowed as you listened to their conversation. DDD? The fuck was that? Some kind of potion or something? Oh my god. What if they decided they didn’t like you anymore and decided to use the potion, and the potion would probably kill you, and oh my _god-_

A knock cuts through your positive thoughts.

“MC? It’s me, Miel!”

You stood there for 2 seconds before your 3 brain cells sprung back into action and asked (politely) your legs to move.

“Ah, coming!” (that’s what she said) (@ narrator can you stfu)

You opened the door, and your eyes subconsciously scanned your surroundings.

“Good morning!”

Huh. You could have sworn you heard someone else too. Noticing your eyes darting from side-to-side, Miel speaks up.

“Something wrong?”

Oh, that’s right. There is a fellow human being in front of you, waiting for your response to his greeting. (social skills 100) (@ narrator can you stfu x2)

“Ah, I just thought I heard more voices out here?”

“Oh you mean the brothers? They were here with me, but then they remembered about breakfast and well, I’ve never seen demons teleport faster.”

 _Teleport?_ You were gonna have to get used to these impossible things that were, seemingly normal to Miel, judging by the bored and mildly done expression on his face. His expression changed into a smile as he spoke.

“Anyways, did you sleep well?”

“Surprisingly, yeah. Better than I did back at home, actually.”

Miel looked a bit taken aback at that. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Hearing that someone slept better in a demon-infested world compared to their own, safe house, was well, weird. You were weird. (@ narrator why must you hurt MC so)

“Really? Wow, you must be lucky…I barely slept an hour on my first night here.”

“Oh.”

How do I respond how do I respond how do I respond how do I respond how do I respond how do I respond how do I respond how do I respond how do I respond ohmygodohmygod-

“Anyways! I came here to give you something very important!”

Your shoulders slumped in relief, having avoided an awkward situation. You were all too familiar with the awkward silence that followed any conversation you were in.

“This,” He holds out a mobile-like device in his hand. “Is a DDD. Sort of like the phones we have. You can message, call, and check your tasks and social media with this! Mine and the brothers’ numbers are already in here, so if you have any problems, don’t hesitate to call us!”

Demons have social media. Huh. You really hoped at least one of them had an only fans- _ahem_. I mean, you really hoped one of them had a twitter you could follow, haha. Haha. Ha. (horny 100)

“…social media?”

“Yeah, I was surprised too. It’s called Devilgram.”

Devilgram? So was it the humans or the demons that made this platform? Probably the demons, considering their long-ass life span. Did they ever die? Isn’t it boring to live that long?

“So…It’s the Walmart version of Instagram?”

"Pft-" Miel doubled over with laughter, clutching at his stomach. Feeling happy that you made him laugh, your mouth quirks up.

“You’re funny MC. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve heard so many vine references and memes being used in casual conversation. Now come on, or Beel’s gonna end up eating everything and you’ll have to starve.”

Beel? None of them had told you their names, except for Mr. Big Tiddies and his butler (?) with the nice hair and bedroom eyes.

“Who’s Beel?”

“That’s right! They didn’t introduce themselves, did they? Sorry about that, demons have no manners.”

You let out a small chuckle at that. Miel drags you along to where you assume is the dining room. A large door stands in front of you. Miel pushes the door open with ease, and you stare at him with a mix of awe and fear.

“Morning everyone!”

He strides into the room with more confidence than you’ve ever possessed in _all_ your years of existence. You cautiously follow him.

“Took ya long enough.”

Oh shit. It’s the demon from last night. Your eyes meet and you suddenly find the ceiling very beautiful, _wow_ , how had you not noticed such amazing architecture, Bob the Builder would be proud. (pussy) (@ narrator can you stfu x3)

You awkwardly stand in front of the table as Miel takes a seat next to someone with a Nintendo switch in their hands, fingers tapping away as they slowly much on their food. Noticing your discomfort, Miel calls you over. What an angel.

“Sit next to me MC!”

You sit down with a nervous smile. Was there anything suitable for you to eat?

“Good morning MC.”

Oh shit, it's daddy vibes man. Stay calm, stay cool, you gotta give a proper response, don’t fuck up like you did last night _please-_

“Morning.”

Nice.

“Ah, that’s right! Y’all forgot to introduce yourselves.”

The brothers all turn to look at him. You wonder how someone can have so much attention on them and not shrivel up and die or something, because you sure _would_ if attractive people looked at you. Daddy vibes man speaks up first.

“My apologies. My name is Lucifer.”

He seems like he wants to say more, but is interrupted by another voice.

“I’m Asmodeus! Tell me human, how do I look?”

Was this a trick question? You’d heard of beings that would ask you if they looked beautiful, and then depending on your answer, would proceed to rip your head off. His stare feels suffocating.

“Um…really good?” Honesty _is_ the best policy, after all.

There’s a moment of silence where he continues to look at you intensely, before his handsome face breaks out into a dazzling smile.

“Exactly what I wanted to hear! Although next time, don’t hesitate to be a bit more… _descriptive_ , darling.” he says with a wink. You smirk inwardly at the double-entendre.

“Beelze-” Another demon speaks up, his mouth stuffed. Miel gives him a look, and he swallows before speaking again. “Beelzebub. Nice to meet you.” His warm smile blinds you.

“You too.” You reply with a small smile of your own.

Miel suddenly notices you haven’t touched the food laid out, and moves to grab you a plate and put some food on it, before placing it in front of you with a cup of what you assumed was tea.

“Eat, MC. Can’t have you go to RAD on an empty stomach. Especially not on your first day!”

You slowly begin to eat, still a bit cautious of everything in this new place. Hm. Maybe you could get used to this after all.

“Satan. Pleasure to meet you.”

You choke.

Miel’s face twists into one of concern. “Are you alright?”

Satan? _Satan?_ What the _hell?_ (hah) Satan, as in _Satan?_ As in Satan, the super-famous demon all humans talk about? The one who has a cult? Satanists? You come to the realization that you were having breakfast with Satan. _Satan_.

Maybe you weren’t gonna get used to this that easily. Baby steps, right? Get yourself together, MC. (you felt like you were gonna cry again)

“Fine, I’m fine.”

“I’m Belphegor.” A tired voice says. You smile at him. He doesn’t return it.

You turn to the demon sitting near to Miel. The one you saw in the kitchen. He was in uniform now. Holy shit, he looked hot. (horny 100 x2)

The rest of the beings at the table turn to look at him. A minute of silence passes before he looks up from his DDD to look at you.

“What? Ha! Ya think she doesn’t know who I am? Tell ‘em human!”

In your mind, that one clip of Kim Kardashian saying _if you know how I feel why would you say that like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation like you know I’m not happy you know I’m trying to see if it’ll work out here and I know that it’s not_ pops up. Why must God hate you?

“Uhh.”

He looks at you expectantly, with an eyebrow raised. 14 seconds pass.

“Seriously? Jeez, ya don’t know me? How dumb.”

He looks genuinely upset, and for some odd reason, you feel the need to apologize.

“Um, I’m…sorry…?”

Your apology seems to work, as he stops pouting and turns to you with a smug expression on his face. Were demons supposed to be this cute?

“Hmph, since I’m feelin’ a bit generous today, I’ll tell ya.”

“I’m the Great Mammon, Avatar of Greed!”

You choke. Again.

Satan turns to you from the book he’d been reading, eyebrows furrowed. “Is the tea too hot, maybe?” (periodt sis)

“A-avatar of greed?!”

Miel laughs as realization dawns on you.

“Oh right. I didn’t tell you, haha sorry.”

“These seven,” a flourish of his hand, “are the avatars of the Seven Sins!”

You can feel three _thunks_ in your head as your brain cells fall, exhausted, and honestly _done_ with all this bullshit. How much information could you expect them to process in one day?

You stare into your cup, seeing your reflection stare back just as cluelessly. Deep breath. Deep breath. Phrase your question right. Don't sound like a dumbass who has no idea about how the English language works.

“Wait a damn minute. I have a question.”

Not phrased _that_ great, but at least you didn't stutter, _and_ you managed to sneak in another meme which earns you a small snicker from Miel, so you're going to consider it a win. (MC - 1, demons - 0)

“Yes, MC?” Daddy vibes man (it's _Lucifer ,_ narrator, get it right) (shut up MC) looks at you, waiting.

“So you all are the physical embodiments of the Seven Sins?”

“Yes.”

Suddenly, a thought crosses your mind. It’s the dumbest thing you’ve thought of (so far), and you’re pretty sure you’ll die if you ask them this.

Don’t do it.

Don’t ask them.

_Don’t do it-_

“So you… threw hands with God?”

Did you have _zero_ self-preservation instincts? 


	6. obligatory filler episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs very loudly* i am here. i had the busiest month ever. have a filler chapter while i work on the next chapter ahaha *sobs*

The Devildom. How did you end up in this situation? Who knows. (I know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

It was your first day at RAD, and after returning to the HOL (House Of Lamentation was too long of a word for your lazy ass) (@ narrator can you stfu), you were sat in your room, blankly staring at your ceiling. You didn’t have any tasks, and you had finished reading the parts your teacher had asked you to. And now? You were bored. You might have appreciated the boredom, especially after so many impossible things had happened. (getting kidnapped by hot demons? It’s more likely to happen than you think)

So now what? Miel was busy. You weren’t close to any of the demons here. (yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) What must a girl do to get rid of this boredom and stop her mind from wandering to dark places that would most likely cause another mental breakdown? (can we get an F in the chat)

“Who knew living with demons would be so boring.” You muttered to yourself. Suddenly, your phone (you refused to call it a DDD because that’s dumb) beeped, signaling a text.

Levi: hey normie

Levi: are you free rn

Leviathan? Why would he be texting you? He hadn’t even introduced himself at breakfast that morning. Miel was the one who told you his name. You stared at your phone bewildered, thinking before typing out a response.

Me: yeah

Me: why ??

Levi: there’s this new game I have

Levi: so u better come over fast

Huh. That’s surprising. You hadn’t expected _him_ of all the demons you’d met to invite you over. He seemed like a person who…disliked, social interaction. And for him to invite you to his room? Suspicious. What if this was a trap? What if he wanted to _steal your soul?_ (if only you had one lmao) (@ narrator can you stfu x2)

Well, at least you wouldn’t be bored anymore. However, there _was_ one problem. Your hand-eye coordination. Or rather, the lack there-of. But you weren’t gonna tell a hot demon that you sucked ass at video games because that’s totally _not_ cool! First impressions are important. Must appeal to the demon, or he might eat you.

Me: ok chile but like,, why do I have to be there ??

Hopefully, he’d think you were too dumb and not ask you to play something that could embarrass you. Hopefully.

Levi: the game needs two players

Well _shit._ You tried to worm your way out by pretending not to know anything, now he probably just thinks you’re dumb and not good at reading social cues. (I mean, where’s the lie-) (@ narrator why must you hurt MC so)

Me: oh

Me: um,, I suck ass at games tho,,

You really did. Anything other than Mario Kart, and you’d break the game. You’d even managed to fail at Animal Crossing. _Animal._ _Crossing._

Levi: even a normie like you can play this game

Levi: so you better come over fast!

Levi: the door’s unlocked

Levi: but it won’t be for long

That’s…ominous.

Me: is that a threat

Me: hello ??

You know what, never mind, he was probably just dicking with you anyways. And besides, your bed was warm. And nice. And you didn’t want to get up. And you-

Levi: be faster !!!!!!!!!

Levi: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-better get going before you _die_ on your second fucking day in demonville.

You arrive at his room pretty quick, being on the same floor was an advantage. You knock once before letting yourself in.

You’re stunned. His room was… _beautiful_. Bathed in a soft blue light, the most striking feature of his room was the giant aquarium. Your lips parted in wonder as wide eyes took in your surroundings. _How rich exactly are these hoes,_ you grumbled to yourself as you tried to mentally calculate the money it might cost you to have a room like this back at home. _So maybe selling about, both your kidneys, an appendix, and maybe your uterus?_

“Finally! Took you long enough.” Leviathan’s voice shakes you out of your quickly morbid-turning thoughts.

“Sorry.”

“Ah, whatever. You’re here.”

He was sat in front of his TV, game console plugged in and ready to play. A pink glow from the screen in front of him illuminated his face. _Damn, why are all of them so hot,_ you thought with a small sob. (horny 100)

“Your room is really pretty.”

“Oh. Um. T-thanks.”

You walked over to where he was sat on the floor, plopping down beside him. Well, not too close, because your brain would go _???_ if you were too close to a pretty person. Unless you wanted to short-circuit when you played whatever you were going to play, it was in the best interests for your heart and brain to leave at least one bible distance between the two of you. Leave room for Jesus.

It was silent for a while, with both of you staring at the floor before you decided you might explode if this suffocating silence continued.

“So, what are we playing?” you asked, turning to him.

“Devilish Messenger! It’s a dating simulator where you get kidnapped by demons and you have to plan a party to be free again! It’s a really popular game and,” his eyes light up as he continues to ramble about the game. You on the other hand, are lost in your thoughts.

That sounded fun. But wait a minute. The plot of the game sounded awfully familiar…

Suddenly your eyes widened.

_“FUCK!”_

The demon next to you jumps 50 feet away from your now crumbling form.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh _shit,_ how many chatrooms have I fucking missed, I don’t have the hourglasses for this, oh _god_ I’m gonna get a bad ending-” you ramble as you realize you hadn’t loaded a save file to protect your progress in the game you were playing in the human world. (can we get an F in the chat x2)

Levi watches on, slightly terrified but also a bit…curious.

You were a strange human. He had been observing you since your arrival. As scared as you were to be here, you didn’t seem to close off to them. You probably also had no self-preservation instincts, considering you had agreed to come to his room. All alone. But he didn’t have any intentions of hurting you. Quite the opposite in fact. Ever since you’d arrived, he had felt a strong urge to protect you. To…get _closer_ to you. (sO BABY PULL ME CLOSER IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR-) (@ narrator can you stfu x3)

“-viathan? Leviathan!”

“Huh? W-what is it normie?”

“Can I download Mystic Messenger on my…uh…” Shit, what was it called again?

“DDD! Right! DDD. Can I download Mystic Messenger on my DDD?”

…

…Mystic Messenger?


	7. the Kabe-don™️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me writing asmo and miel in this chp: hhhhh pls stop being hot
> 
> ALSO YES HELLO I KNOW EVERYONE IS SUPER HAPPY TO SEE ME BACK (i hope so at least)
> 
> I'M HAPPY TO BE BACK !! I LOVE MY READERS AND I HOPE THIS CHAPTER IS UP TO YOUR STANDARDS !!
> 
> <33

Previously, on hi my name is MC i have a dance battle tomorrow:

Why do you have zero self-preservation instincts MC? You’re making my job as an author hard T_T

We continue.

“So, you… threw hands with God?”

As soon as those words left your mouth, you saw God and the narrator smack their foreheads against the closest object. Six heads turned towards you in curiosity. The shoulders next to you shook with silent laughter. Daddy vibes man (please for God’s sake just call him Lucifer, _please)_ spoke up first.

“Excuse me?” he said, with one raised eyebrow.

“…threw…hands…?” Satan asked. He had read about human slang before (like rad, and tubular), so this must have been something more recent.

“Yeah…?” you ask, somewhat (read; _very)_ scared for your life. Did they not understand-

Oh. _Oh._ Of course they don’t understand it’s human slang oh _god oh no-_

“What exactly does that mean, Levi?” Lucifer turns to the blue haired one that hadn’t introduced himself. With eyes still focused on the game and fingers rapidly tapping here and there, he responds.

“She’s asking if we fought Father.” He says father with hesitance, with a tone that probably left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

“Oh. I see. Is that a human expression?”

“No, you’re just a boomer.” Levi responds.

“And what is that?”

“ANYWAYS,” Sensing a fight coming on (you develop a sixth sense for things like that after living with demons for such a long time) Miel quickly interrupts. “Don’t you think MC will be late if you keep engaging her in chit-chat like this? Come on MC, I’ll guide you to RAD.”

He gets up, taking his bag, and motions for you to follow him, as the background (as predicted) erupts into a fight. As he leads you out of the dining room, the two of you engage in idle talk. You discovered that he loved anime, and were in the middle of a passionate discussion about which anime character was Dadd-ier™️, when a sudden wave of whispers erupts around you. You hadn’t even realized that the two of you had reached RAD already.

_“Is that the new exchange student?”_

_“Oh my, I can’t sense any magic!”_

_“And she’s not too easy on the eyes either…”_

_“She doesn’t even have a uniform.”_

_“Honestly, they should just stop bringing humans here.”_

They sound just like the voices in your head. It’s suffocating. You stop talking and choose to stare straight ahead instead. Miel notices your discomfort and taps your shoulder to get your attention.

“Ignore them. The same thing happened to me when I first arrived.”

“Really?” That was kinda hard to believe, considering you were at least 50% sure that Miel had some sort of magic in him. Also, he was hot. (horny 100)

“Yeah! They’re just jealous.” Jealous? Pft, what did you have that they didn’t?

“Of what?” You turned to him, questioning.

“Of the fact that you’re living under the protection of 7 hot demon brothers and one _extremely-super-hot_ human?” Miel says, smug smirk in place, with his thumb and forefinger making a V below his chin.

A small laugh burst out of you. You weren’t too sure about the Miel-being-human part, considering what Diavolo had said in chapter one (@ narrator stop breaking the 4th wall), but you could agree with the part about his looks.

“Oh.” You say with a smile. The whispers hadn’t stopped, but you felt a little better with Miel by your side, him continuing to rant.

He turns to you with a smile. “If they trouble you too much, just come to any one of us, okay? We’ll always be here to help.” (too...bright...can’t…handle...)

“Thank you.” You meant it. You didn’t know too much about calling the hot brothers for help, but Miel seemed like someone you could rely on. Someone you could trust.

“No problem.”

A brief silence passes before he speaks.

“Oh, that’s right! You haven’t met the angels yet!”

_…angels?_

* * *

“Pleasure to meet you MC, my name is Simeon, and this is Luke.”

“The demons haven’t done anything to you, have they?!”

The angels were standing in front of you. You were standing in front of angels. _Angels._ All you could focus on (other than the fact that you, a filthy horny sinner was standing in front of two of the purest beings to exist) were Simeon’s exposed shoulders, because _damn_. (horny 100 x2)

You snapped out of your shoulder-induced haze when you realized there were three pairs of eyes staring at you expectantly for an answer.

“Ah, no. They’ve been very…hospitable.”

“Hmph. Well, they better be.” The angel named Luke says. He looks cute, and for some weird reason you have a sudden urge to touch his soft-looking hair.

“Luke, you mustn’t complain so much. Our hosts are very good beings.” Simeon chides with a soft smile on his face. Back home when stories or movies used to say someone looked angelic, you always thought that was a load of bullshit. But now? You’re willing to believe it. You could stare at his face for the rest of your life.

“Is everything alright, MC?”

How can someone look so soft? So nice? No wonder he was an angel.

“…so bright…”

“MC?”

Shit. Had you said that out loud?

“Huh? Oh yeah! Super fine! I’m fine, haha.”

_OH MY GOD HOW WERE YOU GONNA RECOVER FROM THIS EMBARRASSMENT MAYBE THERE WERE SOME DEMONS LOOKING FOR A SOUL TO EAT-_

“Well, we must get going now. Diavolo wanted to meet us after school. I’ll see the two of you later.”

You could kiss Miel.

“I hope your stay here is comfortable MC. If not, you are welcome at Purgatory Hall anytime.” Simeon says, looking at you with a smile. His smile was intense enough on its own, but with added eye-contact? It was a miracle you didn’t melt and get absorbed into the floor.

“Thank you.” You sure seemed to be thanking a lot of people (?) since your arrival here.

* * *

Your first day at RAD was over, and you were walking through the hallways with Miel. The door to your room was in sight, and you never felt so pumped to go take a bath. You were quietly listening to Miel talk about his own classes.

“So…?”

“Hm?”

“How was your first day?”

“Good.” One-word answers weren’t going to suffice. You had to elaborate.

“I didn’t really expect demons to have such a wide and interesting curriculum, to be honest. There’s a lot the human education systems could learn from them.” Sometimes, the shit that came out of your mouth made you want to slam your head against a wall, but _sometimes_ , it made you want to make out with yourself, because _wow MC,_ how did you make such a perfect sentence? Miel seemed satisfied with your answer.

“Agreed. Did you have any difficulty in any of the classes?”

“Nope. It all went smoothly.”

“And the workload?”

“It’s small, so I think I can take it.” (that’s what she said) (@ narrator can you stfu)

Just as you were about to reach your room, a voice calls out.

“Oh! You’re here! I was just about to come seek you out at RAD, darling!”

_Darling?_

“What’s up Asmo?”

 _Asmo?_ Oh. Right. Asmodeus, the Avatar of Lust. (a perfect match for you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) (@ narrator can you stfu x2)

“MC’s uniform is heerree!” He turns to you, holding the garment in his arms.

“Doesn’t it look absolutely amazing?”

It looks amazing. The details look very pretty, and the badge and cape add a nice touch, was what you wanted to say. But what came out instead because you were too distracted by his eyes and smile was-

“Sure.”

_Why are we still here? Just to suffer._

“Why don’t you try it on? Let’s go to my room~” Asmo says with a wink. (horny 100 x3)

Miel bristles at the suggestion. “Oh please, it’s not even been a week since she’s arrived and you’re already trying to get her into bed? Give it two months at least, Asmo.”

Two months?! Did they seriously think that _you_ , an independent woman who don’t need no man, would just fall into their arms if they asked you to with a smile? (you probably would lmao) (@ narrator can you stfu x3)

“I think I’ll just change in my room.”

“Oh? Well, if that what you want…” He looks disappointed.

You open the door to your room, with Miel and Asmo behind you. They settle down on the side of your bed, as you move to the bathroom to get changed into your new uniform. It fits… _perfectly._ They must’ve used magic or something to get your measurements right. After looking at yourself in the mirror for a few more seconds, you step out.

“Oh my! You look so pretty!” You can literally see the sparkles in his eyes and around his head. (that’s because I added the sparkles SFX to make the scene more interesting) (thank u narrator)

Immediately, you notice someone’s absence. “Where’s Miel?”

Asmo looks annoyed at your question, and wastes no time in pouting and sulking.

“He had something urgent to do. Besides, why would you speak about Miel when _I’m_ here?” You continue to stare at him with a done expression. How old were these demons anyway? Definitely too old to throw a tantrum. Too engrossed in mentally trying to calculate their ages, you don’t notice Asmo’s expression change as he stands up. His voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“You know, MC…”

What the fuck, was his voice that deep before? And WHY WAS HE WALKING TOWARDS YOU-

“I may be the Avatar of Lust, but I usually have very good self-control…” With each step he takes forwards, you take one backwards.

“Um, okay? Why are you telling me this?” You laugh. Awkwardly. Because you don’t know how to cope with stressful situations with anything other than humor. Maybe if you laughed, he’d stop giving you bedroom eyes? (not that you _minded_ , per-se, just that maybe a date would have been better first) (horny 100 x4)

“Well, for some reason, when I see you…” You’re backed up against the wall now, with Asmodeus looming over you, one hand on the side of your head. He leans in close to your ear, warm breath fanning your neck. You can smell honey. (Chanel been real quiet since Asmo’s perfume dropped)

“…all my control disappears.” (horny 100 x5)

Oh my god. Was this actually happening? This only happened in animes and otomes! How were you supposed to respond to this?

_Now, as narrator, I can assure you that MC’s brain thought of many options. She considered acting shy and cute, or maybe flipping him over to turn the tables, and act hot and sexy. She even thought of kicking him in the crotch. Unfortunately, MC’s brain does not work well under pressure. What she did was-_

“ONE BIBLE DISTANCE!” You yelled, pushing him away with your arms. He looked a bit shocked at first, not having expected a normal human to resist his charms. His face then turns amused. After staring at you for a few seconds, his lips curl into a smirk.

“You’re a unique one.”

The hell (hah) is that supposed to mean? (MC did not know that he was actually using his _powers_ to try and seduce her)

“Well then my dear MC, I’ll see you later, hm? Take care!” With a flourish of his hands, he’s gone. You stand there, eyes wide. You can hear distant screams. Oh, it’s your three brain cells. Now that you’re alone, you allow yourself to slip into the Fangirl Persona™️.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my _god_ did I just have my first kabe-don eeeeee _eeee-”_

The door opens.

“Uh, MC?”

 _Shit_. Miel stands at the door, trying his hardest to hold back laughter. (bless him)

“Are you- pft- ahem, are you okay? Any troubles with the uniform’s fitting?”

You can do nothing but stare at him with embarrassment. Why didn’t a demon swoop in to steal your soul right now?

“Um. No. It’s perfect.”

“Good to hear! I just popped in to check whether the fittings were fine, and if Asmo was behaving. He _was_ , right?”

He definitely was _not._

“Yeah, sure.”

Miel seems relieved.

“Lucifer needs me for something, so I’ll have to go now. Call me if you need anything!”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

He turns to leave, as your mind replays a track you often listen to - _OH MY GOD WHY DO I KEEP EMBARRASSING MYSELF IN FRONT OF ALL THESE HOT PEOPLE-_

“Oh and,”

He suddenly turns, the door held half-open by his hand. If he was going to tease you, you were going to throttle him. Human or not. But he didn't tease you. No, instead, his eyes slowly traveled from the top of your head to your toes, before coming back up to meet your eyes.

“You look _very_ pretty.”

You…did not expect that. Since it caught you off guard, you didn’t know how to respond. Also, what the fuck was up with people in demonville and _bedroom eyes?!_

“Thanks, you too.”

…

WHY ARE YOU _LIKE THIS-_


	8. our human pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i'm back since i'm determined to finish this fic ^_^ thank you to everyone who has patiently waited!
> 
> a few more things before we start:  
> 1\. what do you guys envision miel to look like?  
> 2\. would you like me to write the cat café day? or maybe the day MC, Lucifer, and Asmodeus went shopping? comment if you do!
> 
> as always, this has been beta-ed, but please don't hesitate to point out any grammatical/spelling mistakes in the comments! thank you for reading! <3

Previously, on hi my name is MC i have a dance battle tomorrow:

MC embarrasses herself and doesn’t know how to accept compliments. As usual.

We continue.

It’s been a month since you arrived in demonville, (DEVILDOM ITS _DEVILDOM_ FOR DIAVOLO'S SAKE NARRATOR) and so far, your stay has been…relatively peaceful. Peaceful as in demons haven’t ripped you from limb to limb and eaten your soul, _and_ the food here is surprisingly good. You had grown closer to the brothers and Miel, with whom you now had weekly movie nights. (although every single one of them vehemently deny it, they cried for most of them) (BAMBI IS JUST REALLY FUCKING SAD OK FUCK YOU) (@ narrator can u stfu)

Lucifer had invited you out to tea once, and even bought you clothes. Asmodeus had apologized for his little stunt (you’re pretty sure Lucifer forced him to), and tagged along with you and Lucifer for shopping, because:

“Oh MC, you have no idea how terrible Lucifer’s fashion sense is!”

“Excuse me?”

“I think he looks good.” (read; hot, sexy, amazing, 10/10 will fall to knees and cry because of his immense beauty) (Horny 100)

Asmodeus just pouted and went with the two of you anyways.

Satan read his favorite books out to you, and the two of you even visited a cat café once. You and Levi had midnight anime marathons, which would include Beel and Belphie joining in sometimes. You were still a bit wary of Belphie since the man (demon?) had practically glared a hole through you when you first met. (that became better after he fell asleep on your shoulder and smiled at you on waking up) (Simp 100)

You'd found a bag with expensive-looking clothes outside your door one night, with a note attached to it that said "If you're gonna be seen with me, ya better start wearin' better clothes!" You didn't know whether to be flattered that you'd been gifted such an expensive gift or offended that Mammon had insulted your precious, comfortable hoodie and sweatpants.

Beelzebub had once offered you some of his food, and while you were honored, you were sure it wasn’t so surprising that he had to be dragged to the witches to “make sure his brain s’all good”. (Mammon’s words)

So, in short, it was comfortable. _You_ were comfortable. (apart from the small heart attacks you still had when one of them randomly walked around shirtless) (Horny 100 x2) A routine had been established, and you had fit effortlessly into their lives. You still hadn’t figured out what Miel was, but not wanting to make him uncomfortable, you didn’t ask. He seemed human, but Diavolo’s words still rang through your head.

_”Miel is another one of our exchange students. He was the first human to come here! Hmm, but I don’t think we can call him…fully, **human** anymore.”_

What did he mean by that? Had Miel lost his humanity somehow? You never found an opprtunity to bring it up either, and the urge to know was killing you. There were a few… _strange_ moments with him. Like:

_You and Miel are sat in your room, watching a low-quality horror movie. The two of you constantly laugh about how bad it is, making jokes and having fun. The creature on screen devours yet another human, and this time it’s shown in slow motion, with graphic details. You roll your eyes, turning to Miel to make a joke about “That’s how Beel eats his ice cream.” when you notice Miel’s face._

_His eyes are focused on the screen, following the blood and flesh splattering everywhere. His mouth is slightly open, and his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. His breathing is slow and measured. He looks…hungry. His eyes seem to glow._

_For the 273763267 time since you got here, you felt scared. But you were never scared of Miel. He was, as cheesy as it sounded, your safe space in this hell (hah). Where there’d be a comfortable silence, there was an oppressing tension, so thick it felt like you were being suffocated. Your body was stiff, sat unmoving as you stared at him. You swallowed. Loudly._

_“Miel…?”_

_He startles as though snapping out of a trance, eyes wide._

_“Yeah?”_

_He turns to you and smiles. It looks different. It looks wrong._

_“Ah, nothing. You were just spacing out a bit there. Tired?”_

_“Yeah, kinda. Long day, you know?”_

_“Oh. Should we end this here then? You need the sleep.”_

_“Yeah, I’d appreciate that MC. Good night!”_

_He gets up and moves out of your room, door closing gently behind him. You sit there, thinking if you’d imagined that look on his face. You have a restless sleep that night._

That happened only once. He hadn’t acted weird since then. But incidents like this only made you more curious about his story.

* * *

In the past month, you had come to discover that the demon brothers were more human than they seemed to be. Lucifer and Mammon were overprotective over you in their own ways, saying “a puny human like you will find it hard to survive here without our support *insert devilish smirk*”.

Lucifer would subtly (read; not so subtly) glare at anyone who tried funny things with you, but he’d always be standing behind you, so you never noticed. Mammon on the other hand, had no qualms about openly showing his aggression. Levi and Beel would just pout until you paid attention to them. (afterwards, alone in his room, Levi punches his Reiner body pillow)

Asmodeus would just insult them until they cried or fled, and then proceed to relentlessly compliment you. Belphegor just gave them a dead stare, one that sucked the life out of them.

When Satan was ordering at the cat café, the barista winked at you, who was busy gawking at the menu on top. _Everything looked so good, but you absolutely cannot show this hot demon who loves cats and books how much of a glutton you are, it'd ruin your reputation!_ (what reputation lmao) (@ narrator can u stfu x2)

Obviously, because of his weird demonic sixth-sense (they're called eyes and self-awareness MC) (@ narrator can u stfu x3), the blond noticed. “Why don’t you go find a seat, I’ll get our stuff.” he’d said with a charming smile. You were weak to charming smiles. (Simp 100 x2) So off you went, oblivious to the fright of the barista, faced with the Avatar of Wrath’s glare.

Miel was even worse. You’d be talking happily to yet another hot demon classmate, who unknown to you, just wanted your soul, when Miel would telepathically send across a message like “I’m going to rearrange your molecules and turn you into a little D.” all the while smiling like the sweetest being in existence. You never saw that demon again.

And it wasn’t just the demons and Miel either. The angels and the shady (but also hot) human you’d just recently met had suddenly developed a fierce need to protect you from well, _everything_. If the brothers weren’t walking with you to RAD, Simeon, Luke, Solomon, or sometimes all three would be there by your side.

They were weird. Really weird. But you had come to develop a bond with them. And besides, all that protectiveness couldn’t go past just words and expressions, right? It’s not like they’d _fight_ for you or shed _blood_ or anything, _right?_

Right.

_Right._


	9. miel in the mirror be like:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i'm working on the new chapter, but i thought this might help you see the story a bit better in your head. thank you for all the support! <33

for Chocolatesama that said miel might look like lucifer....you're absolutely right! here's a drawing to show you guys what miel looks like (and to show off my terrible art)

i'll see you all in the next chapter! ^3^

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are forever appreciated! <3 reminder that you are loved and worthy. thank you for reading! ^^


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